Could You Please Pass the Mashed Potatoes?
Posted on: March 14, 2008Copyright © 2008 Sticky Pen
I’ve been happily married for nearly fifteen years. My wife and I eloped to Las Vegas to exchange our wedding vows in front of an Elvis impersonator, who also happened to be our priest. We had just come from a Wayne Newton concert, so we were in very high spirits as “The King” asked us if we wanted to be together forever and handed us our twenty-five dollars worth of free poker chips. We’ve really had the perfect life together—two kids (one boy and one girl), nice house in the suburbs, behemoth cars, good jobs in the city. I could really ask for nothing better, except that I lost sexual attraction for her, well, since before we were married. One could say that I felt pressured to settle down with her to achieve everything that I wished for, and everything that we have actually attained. We would go through the motions like any normal straight couple, but the sex was never satisfying for me, especially in the past two years or so when I started faking orgasms. My assumption was that my wife faked them too, so why couldn’t I? Frankly, it surprised me when she first told me she was pregnant with our son. It must have been from one of those few times that thinking about Mel Gibson strapped to the bed actually helped me get off. We actually planned my daughter, so I just had to focus and ...
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